A note on this raw version
This version is a public repository of the texts, without formatting and without the full set of images that originally formed the backbone of the project.
Biographical information is included, mostly in a single long post, without voyeurism and without any request for recognition.
No interaction is expected.
Traumatized people should not feel any obligation to read this material.
You don't need me
And you don't have to identify with me or my words.
Sections
Bio-Dysgraphia
Excerpts from a single unfinished autobiographical post of mnemonic re-emergence, "Silence", originally titled The Undisclosed Rape Zone — I'm not URZ. The text is said to be "cold." There exist no words, no turn of phrase that can formulate what I feel. It lies so far beyond common experience that I cannot even call upon empathy. I only hope my emotions will not kill me like a breaking wave.
Scratchbook Diary
Journal entries and intuitions, written without concern for intellectual or conceptual rigor.
Nevertheless, if you claim that there is "a flaw" in what I write, yet are incapable of saying precisely what, in a clear, structured, and reasoned way — then you are intellectually unfit despite your degrees and your status, and you should remain silent.
Me and HeЯ[L]
The heart of the chevron that pierces straight through me.
I pronounce the glyph 'Herl'.
Abrasions and Draft
Structured reflective short essays and notes, distinct from the raw intuitions found in Scratchbook Diary.
In these pages, French and English are interwoven with one another. You may wish to use an AI translator to help you understand any untranslated part written in French.
Car un tissage est requis, afin que nous puissions décrire la brisure du monde incommencé.
The process of emerging from amnesia was accompanied by an "alchemical" work on images connected to the texts. These images most likely hold no interest in themselves, and I had to exclude them from this raw version.
I have constantly made sure not to use images in order to inflict violence upon others, not to take revenge on others. "I hurt you with my image" is a pitfall I strove to avoid. The truly harsh images remain hidden; no one will ever see them. Nevertheless, my default level of violence is such that I do not always realize what may affect others. That is why I use Trigger/Content Warnings.
An archive of the planned images is accessible here: pozm-archive-img.zip
Now for the familiar, unavoidable question: were these people Jewish?
I come from a family with both Jewish and Catholic roots. The individuals who truly held power in this system were three Catholics and one openly antisemitic Jew. That is what "intra" means in the expression "intra-family organized system of abuse and torture."
Had my family belonged to any other group — named or unnamed — the same would have occurred. This is not a matter of religion, but of social dynamics: certain groups cross thresholds of resilience beyond which, tragically, anything becomes permissible. Anthropology, not theology or race, explains this.
Among those who inherited this system, some converted to Islam, and some regard themselves as Buddhists; to my knowledge, none converted to Judaism or Catholicism. Some were or are left-wing; others were or are right-wing or far-right.
There is therefore no justification for using my story to support your grotesque theories.
I'm not yours.
Harl Z.
Contact: oblivion-axe@proton.me